How to become and effective advocate for your child
Advocating for our children is an important part of parenting. Find out how to advocate for your children.
1. Be knowledgeable and stay informed.
Most teachers appreciate your clearheaded understanding of your child’s problems and any possible interventions you can suggest.
Read and keep up to date on new research.
2. Use knowledge to help, not to hammer.
Knowledge helps create solutions for problems. But sometimes knowledge can be used to beat up on people who “should know better.” That’s like calling someone a “stupid idiot.”
You want to help by sharing your knowledge.
3. Speak up, not out. Good communication skills are crucial for effective advocacy.
Always be polite and respectful, even of people who don’t seem to warrant your respect. Act as if they might rise to the occasion one day.
Be aware of your tone, volume, and body language. Don’t make accusations. If you feel you’re going to lose it, excuse yourself. Nothing gets solved during a shouting match.
4. Know your intention. Before meetings, have an agenda.
What are your child’s needs?
What do you hope to accomplish?
Is there a specific problem that needs attention?
Put your energy there.
5. Stay focused on your intention.
Don’t get side-tracked by emotional issues that may come up in conferences or phone calls. Either you or the school personnel may have an agenda.
Stick to the agenda of solving problems and meeting needs. The meeting will move more smoothly.
6. Use conflict resolution skills. Don’t get too invested in the belief that your way is the only way.
Conflict resolution is a negotiation. Both parties have perspectives and issues that belong on the table.
Look for ways to solve the table topics that create wins for all. Avoid the “I win/you lose” agenda.
7. Bring a skilled advocate to meetings. It can be intimidating to deal with school staff on your own, especially when you’re first learning about ADHD and feel as though you are in over your head.
Parent/child advocates can help you. Look to your local disability support groups to find these names.
Find your local disability support groups by reading newspaper calendars, asking school personnel or your child’s treatment professionals, or by searching the Web.
8. Keep good records.
Get a large three-ring binder.
Fill it with records of anything pertaining to school: report cards, meetings, phone contacts, evaluations, intervention plans, and so on.
Shira from Swartz Educational Services can improve your understanding of educational rights and available options of services and supports for your child. Her services include:
Consultation in person, by phone or virtual to understanding the educational rights and the available options for services and supports for your child
Communication with school personnel for public, private and therapeutic schools
Attendance at IEP, 504, domain, school conferences and other educational plan meetings
Review and Assistance with IEP goals and planning
Plan Coordination with various providers (psychiatrist, psychologist, educational therapist, social workers, speech and occupational therapist)
Classroom observation and follow-up plan
Assistance with Behavior Intervention Plans
Support with developing goals for Assistive Technology use
Document analysis for educational reports, IEP's and 504's
Are you ready to retain a lawyer to settle an IEP issue with your child’s school district? If so, this article and the attached worksheet will walk you through the process.
Exceptional Children Assistance Center – Technical Assistance for Parent Centers Information about the approximately 100 government-funded parent centers in the U.S. that teach parents of children with ADHD (or any other disabling condition) how to advocate for the services their children require. Every state has at least one center.
Note: A school psychologist once contacted our non-profit when I was manning the phones. She trying to find affordable treatment for a low-income student who was struggling in class. When asked why the school wasn’t stepping forward to provide the funding, she replied, “…Regarding the school district paying for an evaluation, I can see the smoke going up from our administrators—at even the suggestion. We are instructed to be ever-so-careful when we “encourage” that a child be evaluated. If we sound like we are recommending or insisting, the school district could be held liable to pay for it. In other words, that is an absolute no-no.”
eBooks to Download
Guidance on 504 Plans Issued by U.S. Department of Education (2016 )- Clarifying the rights of students with ADHD in our nation’s schools. – “Regardless of how well he or she performs in school, a student who has trouble concentrating, reading, thinking, organizing or prioritizing projects, among other important tasks because of ADHD may have a disability and be protected under Section 504.” 42-page document Know your Rights 2-page overview
An easy to read, step by step Guide to the Individualized Education Program. Provided by the Office of Special Education and Rehabilitation Services. 2000. Now in the Archives, but available as a PDF as well as in audio.
CHADD (Children and Adults with ADHD) specializes in in-depth information about ADHD and Educational Services in Public Schools – Basic articles are from the National Resources Center for ADHD and available for all, but many articles, especially those about advocacy, are reserved for members. (Families- $53 a year)
National Center for Learning Disabilities – For more than 35 years, NCLD has committed itself to empowering parents, transforming public schools, and advocating for families and children challenged by learning and attention issues.
Understood – For learning and Attention issues – 15 nonprofit organizations have joined forces to support parents of the one in five children with learning and attention issues throughout their journey. Help children unlock their strengths and reach their full potential. Includes a secure online community, practical tips, and more.
LD Online has a great introduction to LD/ADHD symptoms and accommodations. Copy and paste this URL: http://www.ldonline.org/educators – The official site of the National Joint Committees on Learning Disabilities, LD online provides pertinent information for parents, educators, even kids. the basics, expert advice, and personal stories.
Wrightslaw.com Complete and accurate, Wright’s Law offers a wealth of information about disability law and how it may pertain to school – Applies to all disabilities, but ADHD has its own section.
See Wrightslaw’s Yellow Pages for Kids.com– Directory – Find Disability Specialists and the Organizations that may help your family (Free Listings). Not specific to ADHD concerns, but a great resource! They list a wide variety of services: educational consultants, psychologists, educational diagnosticians, academic therapists, tutors, coaches, advocates, and attorneys for children with disabilities. You will also find special education schools, learning centers, parent groups, community centers, grassroots organizations, and government programs for children with disabilities
Smart Kids with LD A great little site offering targeted information with a gentle touch.
Understanding Special Educationprovides help navigating the special education system as well as how to work collaboratively within your school district. The site provides parent-friendly information on all aspects of the process as well as a Q & A section and a parent-to-parent forum. (Host: Michele Hancock, M.A., P.P.S)
Use these autism activities to help increase communication, fine motor skills, sensory play skills, interaction and more with children with autism in your home or autism classroom. For the best autism activities for parents, teachers and therapists, get my autism activities workbook bundle.
AUTISM ACTIVITIES FOR NON-VERBAL KIDS
All of the activities below can be used with non-verbal children on the autism spectrum. I’ve listed them specifically with children who are non-verbal, or not-yet-verbal, in mind, although they will be a joy to share with all children on the autism spectrum whether they are speaking or not.
Legos are one of our favorite learning materials at my learning center. I love them and so do most of the kids that come here for sessions. Does your child love them too?
You probably have a whisk in your kitchen. What could be simpler than going to get it for these awesome autism activities? You could also use it to do a fun cooking activity with your child!
Does your child love dinosaurs? We have all kinds of dinosaurs at my learning center. The kids love playing with them in a variety of ways – to work on new sounds, imitation skills and pretend play.
Autism resources for exceptional families. Increase communication, learning and fun at home.
Starting a Home Program
EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW
I am passionate about home programs, as well as homeschooling. Starting a home program for your child with Autism and other Neurodivergants– everything you need to know.
What’s the difference? Homeschooling is making the choice to withdraw your child from the traditional school system and educate him or her at home. A home program can be a full-time educational program at home or an adapted program that supplements the traditional school program to help your child learn and progress according to his or her particular needs.
I think both homeschooling and home programs are a wonderful way to connect with your child, grow your confidence as a parent and help your child learn in the gentlest and most effective way possible.
When you learn to adapt your home to increase functional communication and learning, it can become the best environment for your autistic child to learn. You can learn to become your child’s best therapist and participate in every step of his or her progress.
An adapted home program is a powerful way to help a child with autism progress”
WHAT YOU NEED TO GET STARTED :
1. CONFIDENCE.
You need to feel in your heart that you have what it takes to become your child’s best teacher.
2. A DEDICATED SPACE FOR LEARNING.
You will be using your entire home for learning, as well as many places outside of your home, but you will also need a special spot for your child, where he or she can sit at the table and do organized activities. I call this special learning spot a “progress nook”.
(Simply download your free list, print it out, check off what you already have and immediately know what you are missing for your child’s playroom.)
4. SUPPORT.
You can go it alone, but the experience is going to be a lot more fun if you partner with someone to teach your child at home. This person can be your husband or wife, a mother or father, a sibling, a professional that will help teach your child in your home, a student in training or even your other children. You may also want to work with a professional who will assess your child’s current level across skill domains, help you create a plan and adapted curriculum for your child, teach you to decrease any difficult behaviors (or barriers) your child may have that may keep him or her from being able to learn and help you to put in place a system to collect data and keep track of your child’s learning and progress.
5. RESOURCES.
The right resources will help you learn everything you need to know to create a home program that pushes your child forward and helps him or her learn to thrive. They will guide you to keep building your home program and to track your child’s progress.
"When we use the term integrative medicine in our practice, we are referring to molding (integrating) the latest laboratory research with treatments to hopefully improve clinical outcomes. We strive to do this based on evidence-based medicine and the use of biomarkers, where we add treatments either based on underlying biochemical testing (for example, giving carnitine and coenzyme Q10 when there is laboratory evidence, using biomarker measurements, of mitochondrial dysfunction) or evidence-based treatments (for example, giving nutritional supplements or medications that have been studied and proven to help symptoms such as speech delay, attention, hyperactivity, etc.…)."
TIPS & RESOURCES FOR PARENTING AN AUTISTIC or NEURODIVERGENT CHILD
Wondering how to parent an autistic child? Well, hopefully you'll find this large collection of tips and autism resources for parenting an autistic child helpful!
There's no one right way to parent an autistic child. But parenting is hard some days. Autism or not. So if you're looking for some new tips and tools for your autism parenting toolbox, then you're in the right spot. Below you'll find autism book suggestions, printable resources, personal stories, strategies, and so much more!
These resources are meant to help you learn more about autism, become better educated, inspire you, and encourage you in your autism parenting journey.
Need help supporting hyperlexic and autistic kids?
Twice a week, you'll receive tips and resources about hyperlexia and autism. Trying to download a free printable? Look for a yellow sign up form instead.
PARENTING CHILDREN BEHAVIOURAL OR MENTAL ILLNESSES
The ABC’s of Anxiety Support
Once I came to terms with her anxiety, I was able to understand and better support her.
The good news is there is an effective way to help anxious kids.
Make these 6 simple adjustments to support your child, which are based on recommendations from the American Academy of Pediatrics.
Avoid Avoidances
Commonly, when children have anxiety, they avoid certain things, related to your child’s fear. Simple daily events can feel like scary situations.
This may be a place (such as school or an sporting event), or an activity (such as going to bed on their own).
It sounds like a double negative, but do your best to avoid these avoidances. Do not allow your child’s anxious thoughts pull them away from life.
If they are trying to avoid going to school or soccer. Tell them you are right there with them, and encourage them to go. Even if it is only for a short time.
Be positive and teach self-talk
Teach your kids about positive self-talk. Help them learn how to label their emotions properly so that they can work through any troubling emotions.
For example, if your child is saying “I can’t go to school because it makes my belly hurt”, encourage them to elaborate on their emotions with questions like, “how does that make you feel?” or “why do you think school is making your belly hurt?”
These 12 Calming Cards can help you kid calm themselves down when they feel overwhelmed:
Your child can use these tools to start to take small steps to managing their anxiety. Tell your child to try these activities that when they feel their heart rate get fast or the worries won’t leave them alone.
Raising a child who suffers from anxiety can be absolutely exhausting for parents. It’s okay to admit it. Parents of anxious children often admit to feeling emotionally drained.
It is challenging to stay composed when your child is throwing a catastrophic meltdown about something you can’t even pretend to understand.
The best advice is to walk away. Take a 10 deep breaths, and remind yourself that your child is not being difficult, they are having a difficult time.
It may not “just be a phase”. Your child may need help from a medical professional to help understand and work through their emotions.
Regardless of the level of anxiety your child faces, you should discuss it with your child’s pediatrician immediately.
If your child is having significant problems with school (including missing a lot of school), or having other problems with daily functioning, you should talk to your doctor. You may have to reach out to a child psychiatrist or clinical psychologist who specializes in childhood anxiety.
Exercise, diet, and sleep
A balanced lifestyle will help provide a stable ground for your child to stand on. Do your best to provide sufficient opportunities for exercise, a balanced diet, and appropriate amounts of sleep.
Controlling these environmental factors will help eliminate any uncomfortable feelings that may lead to symptoms of anxiety.
Focus on fun experiences
Studies, like this one, demonstrate the positive benefits that family time has on stress.
Provide your child with screen-free experiences to relax and enjoy life. Engage as a family and reconnect as much as possible.
.Final Thoughts on How to Help an Anxious Child
Following the above practical strategies can help guide you through supporting your anxious child.
Most importantly, remember that your child’s anxiety may not be a “phase”. Support your child with a positive embrace, and know when to reach out for professional help.
If you feel that your child is displaying anxious behavior or symptoms of a panic disorder, consult your pediatrician as soon as possible.
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I like books and I read a lot. I'm always on the lookout for new books to read about autism and have read quite a few books about autism over the years. Here are some book lists to help you find the right autism books you and your child need.
